Friday, December 7, 2012

Let's Get Serious for a Moment

Warning: I'm going to be a bit of a buzz kill in this post. So skip over if you're having a particularly happy day.

I love love love my husband. But I really wish I didn't marry a military man. I don't mind the moving, the long hours, the military's the separation that kills me. Part of it is because we spent our entire dating relationship as a long distance couple. I was in Washington and Oregon while he was stationed in Alaska. I can probably count on one hand how many times we saw each other in person during our almost two years of dating. Maybe all the anxiety and problems that come with distance relationships scarred me so now it's 100x's worse when he's gone.

Will has been in the Air Force for 4 years (I've been with him for most of it) and he's never been deployed. A little surprising right? He was gone a lot the first 6 months of our marriage on TDY' bothered me, but I wasn't on my own for long.
Delivering toys in Thailand with his squadron
Source: Air Force Site
It's looking like he might be gone for 9-10 months out of next year. I'm kind of freaking out about it. Especially since we're in a foreign country, not living on base, and I'm not working. I'll have to force myself to be busy when he leaves.

I know military wives like to put on that front that we're really tough and can handle anything. But I'll tell you right now. I cry a lot. I hold it in pretty well for the most part, but it'll hit me at night when I can't sleep or when I wake up and realize I won't be waking up next to my husband in the near future.

About to go on his incentive flight while on TDY in Florida
We're fighting over dumb things. We're hugging and kissing each other like we're never going to see each other again. We're trying really hard to act like normal, but everything has an urgent feel to it.

Any military spouses out there have advice for us? I've heard it helps to say goodbye at home and not to go to the hangar with him.


  1. It'll be ok! I promise.

    The little things matter while he's gone ie sending him cards/letters all the time and care packages etc. I've always been the one deployed so I can only tell you that side.

  2. That would be horrible. Angel and I were long distance and only saw each other every couple months until we got married--but I think it would be infinitely harder to do that post marriage!

    I even struggled with the fact that he worked night shift for the first year we were married...that's tough, girl! You're definitely strong if you can take that! I'm thinking about, at some point, going on a trip for a month to see my family who I haven't seen in 2 1/2 years at this point...but I still don't want to leave Angel for that long.

  3. =( ::hugs::
    We will be here for you...even though i know that is little comfort.
    I wish there were words i could say to help, but i've never been in this situation.
    I do know your strength, and that y'all will be able to weather this storm.

  4. :( I understand. I hate when my husband has to deploy. It stinks. He'll be leaving soon and I hate it. I try to keep busy and then we try and Skype so that helps. But still. It sucks.

  5. The build up to the deployment is honestly one if the hardest parts. It is like slowly pulling a band aid off. And it will be hard at first, but I promise that as long as you stay busy you will get into a routine and time will begin to pass quickly. Use this time to do things you may not have time for when you are spending time with him--like finding a hobby. And blogging your feelings can help because lots of us in the blog world can relate. Hugs!

  6. I'm not a military spouse but doing long distance (my fiance lives in Singapore, I live in Paris) so I can't imagine how tough it must be for you guys -- my fiance and I skype all the time but I'm sure that's not as easy to do when you're deployed. All I can say is we get by by knowing that our love is stronger than anything, so we'll be able to survive whatever gets thrown our way (especially since due to my career we don't know the next time we'll be together again). best of luck to you guys!