"You knew what you were getting into"
I hate this when people say this to me when I'm bumming out about being a military wife.
It's not true. How can that possibly be true? There's no way to know how difficult it would be. I got a preview of it while we were dating so I thought I could handle it, no problem. But everything is amplified 1,000 times over once I was in it everyday.
When we were dating I was in Portland in my home with my friends and my family and my life. When we got married I was trying to make a new life with my husband who was sometimes there...most times not. He went on two TDY's within the first 6 months of our marriage. The first TDY was within a month of our wedding. This year he'll be gone 7-8 months because of the TDY earlier this year and deployment going on now. There's rumors that there will be another TDY by the end of the year. Most likely Will won't go, but he's a 7-level and he's good at his job and he's easy to get along with...so there's always that chance they'll take him.
Even when he's here, we go weeks without spending time together. There are stretches of long hour days that only allow him to come home with enough time to eat and sleep before he needs to be back at work. Sometimes he comes home reeking of fuel or some other jet fluid and it's so bad that he has to strip down and leave his clothes outside. Sometimes we have a whole conversation that I don't understand because it's all maintainer or military jargon. I just nod, smile, and listen as best that I can.
My husband is a hard worker and a nice guy. So when a coworker asked to switch weekends before the deployment, he said yes even though he already worked his weekend. He picked up a weekend shift out of the goodness of his heart. He stays late because he feels guilty if he isn't in the last group out. He goes in at least 30 minutes early so that the person he's turning over can get home sooner. I love that I love a man like him. But sometimes I wish he would be a selfish ass so he would ditch out and be home with me longer or spend more time talking to me.
All this stuff...I didn't know about it before. I didn't know how truly hard it would be.
But I also love all of it. I love him. I love saying I'm an Air Force wife. I'm so proud of him. I'm proud to be married to him. And that's how I get through the bad parts. Love and pride.