Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Story Time

I opened my eyes and smiled because the sun was shining and I actually got a good night's sleep. I decided right then that I wanted to have a productive day. So I jumped up and I walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Will had been working late (totally normal for deployments) so I wondered to myself how much time I'd have out of the house before I had to be home to catch his call. My mind wandered to making to do lists and I zoned out. Mid teeth brush, I paused.

Something had caught my eye.

I scanned the room trying to place what was wrong.

Window was closed. Towel was hanging where I left it. Toilet seat was down. Hmm...what was it?

Suddenly, it registered.


I stood there in frozen panic. I don't remember spitting out the toothpaste. I don't remember rinsing my mouth. I just remember staring (because they're like the Weeping Angels, if you take your eyes off of them for one moment they'll get you or disappear).

For a split second I thought, "Well maybe I can just leave and pretend I never saw it."

Followed quickly by, "But then what if it decides to leave the bathroom to find my bed?"

Obviously I had to do something. I know this is horrible, but I followed my first impulse. I ran downstairs for the vacuum and sucked it up. I felt so guilty about it and I was genuinely sad about possibly killing it. I put the vacuum next to the front door and ran away.

Will chose that moment to call and laugh at me. He kept saying, "You have to take it out. Just empty the vacuum outside."

But here's the problem: The reason why the vacuum was so accessible was that I had just taken it for its maiden voyage around the first floor. (I just bought my first Dyson vacuum. *SCREAM*, I know! I'm just as excited as when we bought our Kitchenaid mixer.) It was full of my hair, dirt, and shredded paper (I had an accident with the shredder). I couldn't just empty all that onto the ground outside.

Long story short, I took a wastebasket and emptied the canister into that. The lizard survived which lifted my guilty conscience, but also scared the crap out of me. So now the wastebasket is still sitting outside. And of course a thunderstorm hit that afternoon. I'm hoping that when the time it comes to take out the kitchen trash the lizard will have left and I can return the basket to it's place inside the house.

Or I'll just leave the basket where it is and Will can check it when he gets home.

In all honesty, that's probably what will end up happening.


  1. Aw shame! But a funny story... impulses/reflexes are both a blessing and a curse ;)

  2. "I can just leave and pretend I never saw it" would totally be my first reaction to dealing with an unwanted critter when the husband's away. But the problem is that that attitude really doesn't solve the problem! Good job! :P I would never have thought of a vacuum, I'm pretty sure of that!

  3. hahahahhahaa ooooh noooo. I'm sure you handled the situation better than I would have!

  4. I love this! I definitely would have just run away screaming, but vacuuming it? Genius! I'll have to remember that. :)

    1. I just remembered thinking how much it sucked because I could have called a friend to save me, but there's no way anyone would have been able to get to my house before it scurried off. I was so mad that I had to take care of it myself! But it all worked out and I have a good story.

  5. I'd freak out. I am not a fan of creatures. We had a cricket in the house the other day and I was flipping out.

  6. Haha this is too funny. I would have freaked out too.

  7. I believe that I would have done the exact same thing! Pretty funny though.

  8. This made me "LOL" you are so adorable! Will will be home SOON to take care of all these problems for you :)

  9. bahahahaha
    you probably will leave the trashcan...come on i would if it was a dang roach.

  10. I would have died! Get a new basket lol leave it!

  11. haha, i would SO do something like that!