Thursday, March 6, 2014

My struggles with being a military wife

I just read two posts by two of my favorite bloggers, each of them were struggling with the same thing I’m struggling with…we’re military wives. [Handling with Grace - Rambling and Struggling] // [Displaced Hoosier Hospitality - Getting Real] (If you get a chance go over and send them some love.)

I love my life and I’m madly in love with my husband, but I’m frustrated. You know my three best friends from Portland? One of them is getting married and is thinking about buying a house in the next couple years. One of them is currently looking at houses and has an adorable little girl. One of them recently had a baby and she bought a beautiful house. If we were playing the board game Life I’d be losing horribly.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful for the life that I’m living. My husband and I have done some amazing things and have so much fun together. It’s just…I’m turning 28 in June and we’ll be married for 4 years this year. I’m ready for the baby and the house. My husband is ready for the baby (his baby fever is almost worse than mine), but he’s not ready for the house. Meaning: he’s not ready to give up being a nomad and traveler. He loves that we get to move around. He loves that the military sends him all over the place for TDY’s. I love that about him. I love that he has that sense of adventure within him.

Everyone knows we’re leaving Italy next year. Plus his contract will be ending right around the same time. So you know we’re getting all the questions. “Where are you going next?” “Are you reenlisting?” “What are you going to do?”

We. Don’t. Know.

I hate saying that. It’s getting harder and harder for me to say that breezily with a “come what may” attitude. I want my husband to make a decision. I have a say but ultimately it’s his choice to make. He knows what I want and how I feel and he’s thinking on it. I’m trying not to push him. I’m trying to be supportive and understanding. BUT I WANT AN ANSWER OUT OF HIM! I need to start preparing myself now emotionally and mentally for whatever he chooses. It’ll take me a little time, but I’ll eventually be okay with whatever he chooses…as long as he gives me time to absorb it and think on it.

Okay. That’s off my chest. Shake it off. I’m going to distract myself with planning what we’re going to do this weekend. It’s supposed to be sunny and I don't want to waste it. I’m thinking Bled will be especially beautiful to visit again. OR there’s still some Carnevale celebrations going on in some nearby towns. That could be fun!


  1. ::hugs::
    girl get this out, vent, do what you need to do.
    i would be frustrated too - and that is OK.
    the cliche "everything will work out as it should" is true, especially here, but i know it doesn't take away any frustration.

  2. ps love the new header/button design!

  3. All of the unknowns are the hardest part about this life!

  4. Joel and I hit that "tell me what you're going to do" issue a few years ago when we PCSed back from Germany. It was killing me! Do I create a life here, or do I anticipate orders? Or do we move somewhere else? As much as I hate the "knowns" sometimes, the unknowns are so much worse. I hope he gives you some finality soon. It's definitely not an easy life, and I'm sorry you aren't happy with where you're at. As you know, I can totally relate. :)

  5. Oh goodness yes!! I'm struggling with the same's just so hard for me to not know what's coming next because I'm a planner and at times a little bit of a control freak. On the subject of the life game, you can definitely have a baby and live a semi non-nomad lifestyle. It isn't ideal but it's working for us! Hope it helps to know there's someone in this boat with you--it helps me :)

  6. Agh, I can totally feel your pain! With all the cuts in the Air Force, a lot of my friends are now contemplating leaving voluntarily, but there's no easy or fast answer. In the meantime, as spouses, they just sit and wait. One even has pending plans to PCS this week!! As for me, I can't handle my future being in the military's hands. Why can't I make the decision best for my family?

  7. I feel you! It is such a hard lifestyle. I have absolutely no advice for you. Hang in there.

  8. We just went through the similar discussion in our household! It's rough. I was super thankful when he finally made a decision, although our life is still in transition for the time being. At least some day something will be decided already. I feel you sister friend!

  9. Ugh, that not knowing stage, when you don't have an answer for all the people who constantly ask--that's no fun. I can totally understand about just wanting some time for to emotionally adjust to whatever the next thing will be. Right now we're still waiting to know where and for what job we'll be moving this summer...and I'm just hoping that we'll be allowed to know really soon!